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Wednesday, 7 May 2008

Busy Busy Busy

It's that time of year again. Annual Council and Mayor Making.

This will be the tenth year I have been responsible for it, and I'm as nervous as if it were the first!

Something always goes wrong. This is a list, in descending order of heartbeats per minute:-

0 (!) Being locked in the loo five minutes before the start of the meeting, when a screw fell out of the lock and jammed in the mechanism. I had to physically wrench the loo door off its hinges, with literally seconds to spare before the civic party made its way from the Mayor's Parlour to the Chamber, led by the mace-bearer.

500 At the mayor-making dinner - forgetting the menus and have to race back to the Council offices from the St George's Suite at Wicksteed Park, in the style of Lewis Hamilton, to fetch them.

300 Skateboarding kids playing noisily in the driveway outside the Chamber, jumping up periodically to stare in the windows at the Mayor giving his first speech in his ceremonial robes.

250 Planters and tubs of flowers leaking water all over the Chamber floor - and all the cleaning cupboards locked with no sign of an attendant.

200 The microphones packing up as the proposer for Mayor stood up to give his speech.

175 My naughty husband telling mucky jokes at the mayor-making dinner and showing me up.

175 My naughty husband thumping the new mayor on his shoulder saying 'Good on yer, congratulations mate!' Cringe. (You are supposed to address the Mayor as 'Your Worship'.) Mind you, the Mayor that year was my cousin's husband!

150 At the end of the Mayor-making dinner speeches, the new Mayor saying 'and finally I'd like to thank Anne Beasley for all her help'. This was my maiden name. At the time I'd been married for twenty-seven years. I could have crawled under the table in embarrassment because my naughty husband couldn't stop himself giving a very loud laugh.

Now you might notice that three of the embarrassing moments above involve my hubby. I can't avoid Mayor-making and most mayors send Rob a personal invitation so that I'm not on my own at the dinner. This year, unfortunately, is no exception.

Has anyone any ideas how I can make him behave himself next Wednesday night?


HelenMH said...

Absolutely no idea how you can make him behave - but do tell us all about it!

Captain Black said...

Go Rob!


KAREN said...

Um, file for divorce.....?

Bit extreme perhaps. Lace his tea with valium? Okay, I've been watching too much telly.

Look forward to hearing about it!

Denise said...

Hmm, tricky. Does bribery work or is he not aware that he's misbehaving? If all else fails I recommend a couple of drinks at the dinner so you don't notice what he's doing!

Debs said...

I don't know about ideas to get Rob to behave but you could write a great short story about the evening.

Lane said...

I know damn well I left a comment here?? Sheesh. I think I said something like your heart rate at being locked in the loo was dangerously er ... non existent.

And you wouldn't want hubby to behave himself really would you?? Noooo:-)

Annieye said...

Helen: No doubt I will, unless a miracle happens, but I very much doubt that!

Cap'n: Hummph! Men!

Karen: They don't make anti-men-showing-you-up pills. If they did I'm sure they'd sell really well.

Denise: Bribery makes him worse! Much like a small child. The thing is he's so WITTY. I'm supposed to be the writer, but he's quick as a flash with witticisms and naughty comments. I can't think on my feet like he does. Drink makes him ten times worse and me like a moron!

Debs: I'll definitely write about it and try and take some photos too.

Lane: Believe me, my heart beat so fast I'm sure it eventually stopped. It was my all-time most panicky moment. Rob makes everyone laugh and I'm sure I worry too much. But he doesn't know when enough is enough. He doesn't drink that much. And his laugh is so LOUD !!!