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My Works in Progress

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Skating on thin ice

I have to visit the Minor Oral Surgery Unit today. My appointment is at 10.25, but I have to get there for 10.00. I'll spare gory details, but one of my teeth must come out. It's the one next to the big one at the top on the right-hand side. When I feel it with my tongue it feels alarmingly near to the front of my mouth but a probing fore-finger reassures my tongue that it's quite far back really. I did a little test at work the other day ... I stuck blu-tac on it and smiled, beamed and laughed in the mirror in the office. Trouble was everyone else smiled, beamed and laughed too!

I had to know, you see. When it had gone, would I look like a toothless old hag?

It's a slippery slope! It's important to remain vigilant and ward off the age-gremlins when you're in your fifties. In the last few weeks I've:
  • Cooked liver for tea and actually enjoyed it instead of pretending to
  • Moaned about the price of fish
  • Got in someone's way in the aisle at Tesco's
  • Obsessed about magpies and silly superstitions
  • Indulged in some bad driving
  • Been praised for having a miniature sewing kit in my handbag
  • Become a granny again
And now I've started losing teeth .... oh my gawd!

To keep the grim reaper at bay I've decided to take some positive action.

1. I have 101 Housework Songs (as advertised on TV). Oh joy! Will dance naked to the first track on the first CD with a new and handsome domestic appliance
2. I will drink a Jack Daniels and Coke in the pub on Sunday
3. I'll listen to Radio One and not Radio Two in the car
4. I'll smile seductively at the first handsome young man I see today
5. I'll ask Emily if I can borrow an item of her clothing

Do you think that might do it?

7 comments:

Captain Black said...

Good luck with your dentistry. I hope they fix whatever the problem is.

Liver rocks! With onions.
Fish is cheaper than meat.
Don't get in my way in Tesco. I might have a machine gun (see Fiona's blog).
Silly superstitions can be fun. Even for a mad scientist like me.
Bad driving? Is there another kind?
Miniature what?
Hey, Granny Annie, that rhymes.

As to #4: Hello {waves} :o)

HelenMHunt said...

Sounds like it's all worth a go! But you're only as old as the man you feel, ahem ...

Tam said...

Ouchie on the dentist front but hurrah on the dancing naked and congrats on the new and handsome domestic appliance!

Pat Posner said...

Hope the tooth job went OK, Annie?

Fiona said...

I think Jack Daniels in the pub, RadioOne and wearing your daughter's stuff is the way to go but... promise me you won't go smiling seductively at handome young men without your front teeth.

Annieye said...

Captain - you really can't see it. Do not look like a toothless old hag after all. Yay! Granny Annie in name only.

Helen. (Clears throat ..) Now that's an idea to keep the age gremlins at bay ;-)

Tam. What would really do it for me would be a book deal, but sadly still biting nails with remaining teeth.

Pat. Thanks Pat. It was fine. Doesn't hurt at all now.

Fiona. I tried to smile at young, handsome dentist but sadly only one side went up!

Lane said...

Jack Daniels in the pub sounds good. Followed by a nice Horlicks before bed:-)

Hope you've recovered from your dentistry Annie.

ps - have you done some nekkid hoovering yet?:-)